They’re Growing So Fast!

26 Thursday Jan 2017

274f20be0668a012bf46a66cf1c65afb

Its been a little more than a week since my last post. My 3 year old will be joining a preschool in another week and its been kind of doing my head in. I had been wallowing in a sea of gloomy thoughts along the lines of how quickly my cheeky li’l monster was growing up. I desperately wish there was a way to slow down this growing-up business! As much as I am looking forward to seeing him mingle with kids his own age and hopefully hear him speak a language that makes sense to us, I am dreading the day when I will miss him speaking Minion. And a time when he wouldn’t even want to be seen around with me is also just around that infernal corner. All these impulsive hugs and cuddles that he’s always giving me will soon come to an end. And so will all the whispers, snuggles and giggles that we share alone at night.

So since I’ve been pondering over all the changes that will take place very soon, I have also been thinking about my 11 year old who turned 12 earlier this month. She’s going to be in her teens next year and I am already having a tough time talking to her. We’re at each other’s throats quite frequently these days and I really do not know how to handle it. Which brings me to wonder how my mum did it with my brother and I! We were horribly rebellious during our teenage years and she managed us all by herself because Dad was overseas.

Why can’t they just remain little for a while longer? I remember a time during my childhood days when I truly wished I didn’t have to grow up. If Neverland ever existed, I think I would have happily run off and made my home there. This could be a reason why a part of me is still and always will be, childish. I never wanted to grow up! Growing old is mandatory, but growing up is optional, they say.

So is all of this going to get any easier? Nope!

I guess I can cheer myself up with the fact that there is going to be a lot of “First Times” to look forward to with him. With both of them, in fact. But that’s about the only positive thing in all of this for me.

So I’d better just suck it up, put my game face on, add more lipstick and pretend all is well with the world. And if I need to cry, at least I have my yarns to cry into.

Just wanted to say..

09 Monday May 2016

Posted by Bessie V in Life

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Hello! Lovely readers!

I’ve been quiet all these days. No, not ill and not too busy either. Just enjoying my time doing nothing for a while. I’ll admit I have been feeling a wee bit lazy too.. But not lazy enough to miss reading all your wonderful posts. They say a reader lives a thousand lives. And that is SO true! I’m so glad to be a tiny part of your lives, smiling and laughing at your joys from my corner of the world, feeling sad for your pains and loss, celebrating your achievements. And I’m glad you all are a part of mine too.

So just wanted to say that YOU ARE ALL AMAZING AND DON’T YOU FORGET IT!

Bouquet of plumeria flowers

Finding Me

01 Friday Jan 2016

Posted by Bessie V in Life

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Change, Faith, Finding oneself, Love, Negative Thought, Positive Thoughts, Self-Analysis

2015 has come and gone.

If I were to rewind and reminisce on how my year went, I would say I had a great year.

I can’t remember what my resolutions were, but it doesn’t matter any more. And honestly, if I can’t remember it, then maybe, it wasn’t worth thinking much about or fighting for.

But I have done things that I never thought about or planned – like starting this blog – my own little space in this big world. The thought came out of the blue. It seemed like a good idea. And it still is. I got to connect with most of you through your blogs, learn, understand, admire bits and pieces about your lives and take inspiration from it that I would never have thought possible before.

In retrospect, I can see how blessed I was in many areas of my life.

But, I can also see where some really serious changes need to be made.

I have always considered myself an extremely easy-going person. I could easily forgive and forget. I could love selflessly. I could sacrifice a little of myself. Never hold grudges.

But somewhere along the road, that changed. I changed. I am now less capable of forgiving. Of letting matters go. Even the petty ones. Things that I never bothered or cared for much about before have slowly started to manifest. I have become selfish. More angry. I have let a lot of negative feelings take birth. They’ve now taken up too much space in my heart that I no longer have enough space for love.

And I do not like what I have become. I have lost sight of the person that I once was. She is now a blur.

And I must get her back.

Just like there is a source for all things good and positive, there is a source for all things negative. When those sources mostly bring out the worst in me, then, I must not entertain them any further. Time to close the door on them. Firmly. I have learned some lessons and the valuable ones, I will hold close to my heart.

The quirkier me made 2 small hearts – one for home and one for work. At work, I have kept it right next to the message of the greatest love the world will ever know. Every time I see it, it will serve to remind me of my goal. Remind me that my every word and every act creates ripples that will keep coming back at me. My eyes are once again focused on the One who showed that act of love – the great I AM. He has yet to fail me. And I know that He never will. On the days when I find it difficult to speak or act out of kindness, I shall then, choose to be silent.

To quote a few verses from one of my favorite chapters of Paul in his letter to the Corinthians :

Clouds

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.Love never fails.”

A new year is here again with fresher beginnings and there will be plenty of opportunities to spread some love. Selflessly.

Hopefully, I will soon find myself and be the person I once was. I think she is far nicer and worth fighting for. Doesn’t matter if she was a weaker me. I now realize that when I am weak, then I am strong. Because His power is made perfect in my weakness.

And to all of you who are in search of yourselves, those hoping to achieve what you have set out to do, I wish you every success. May all your dreams come true.

Wishing you all a truly fulfilling New Year.

Be Blessed Always!

Bessie

All Things Beautiful

01 Sunday Nov 2015

Posted by Bessie V in Life, Nature

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“When I admire the wonders of a sunset or the beauty of the moon, my soul expands in the worship of the creator.” – Gandhi

That is exactly how I felt when I saw this beauty on our drive home this evening.. the glorious colors fading into the horizon and melting all the stress of my day away.

Have a beautiful week ahead, lovely people!

Love, Thy Will Is Done

15 Tuesday Sep 2015

Posted by Bessie V in Life

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Tags

Anniversary, Arranged Marriage, Love, Wedding Anniversary

Today is special.

12-years-of-being-married special.

I can’t believe its been so long! Shows just how quickly time flies (plenty of times when its just crept along, of course) and I can still see the beginning of it all.

Ours was not a love marriage. Arranged by our parents and one that he and I nodded our heads to in agreement (unthinkable for many, I know). For Indians, its a normal, everyday affair. Growing up, I had always dreamed I would marry for love. But as an adult, I was surprised to find that I felt no aversion to the idea of an arranged marriage. It is a scary idea, yes, but I found it a strangely exciting one too. Like an adventure. And I would be embarking on one with someone I barely knew. What if it’s a disaster??

But, here we are today. 12 years later.

Looking back on all these years, I can see how much we’ve evolved together. The compromises and sacrifices we’ve both made, just to be able to accommodate the other in our lives. How much we have changed each other little by little for the better and the fact that we’re still at it. And the best part, we learned the meaning of love together. We’ve made many, many mistakes and we’ve seen how forgiving love really is. No-one is perfect and we’ve learned to lean and depend on each other’s strengths in times of weakness.

Sure, there are still plenty of arguments and differences. But no more blame games. And as much as we can help it, we don’t let the sun down on our anger any more.

Not to forget the 2 lovely children we made between us. I hope they watch us and see our love more than our faults.

As we grow older, I hope too, that we will continue to love and cherish each other and each moment of our adventure together, because love endures forever.

Happy Anniversary to us.

Free Time, Finally!

06 Sunday Sep 2015

Posted by Bessie V in Life

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Hello lovely people!

I can’t believe its already been 10 days since my last post! I’ve only been reading and enjoying everyone else’s whenever I get a straight 15 minutes of me-time.

Been a busy bee all these days with no time to spare. Coming back from a long holiday to a closed up apartment is quite a daunting task! Mountains of cleaning up!!

My almost 2 yr old had been behaving a bit cranky and moody too, occasionally peering out the window and sulking and flinging some angry baby talks at us. He must’ve been hoping to see the hens and the wide open green landscape that he got used to in that 1 month of being let out. The poor thing!

And not soon after we got everything squeaky clean, both the kids and the better half ended up with throaty problems that needed courses of antibiotics and hot soups!

Quite an exhausting couple of days, I tell you. I need another holiday ALL BY MYSELF just to unwind!

Now that things are finally under control, I have been able to get back a little to what I love doing. Crocheting and connecting with you all :).

More coming soon!

Have a great week ahead everyone!

Silence is Golden

21 Tuesday Jul 2015

Posted by Bessie V in Causes, Life

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Tags

Idioms, Silence is Golden, Speaking Up

“Silence is Golden”, my 10 yr old read out loud from her English chapter on Idioms.

She asked me if the phrase meant that it would be peaceful to everyone’s ears if there was no noise. She even gave me an example of how we heave a sigh of relief every time we turn off a very particularly annoying and loud piece of music and the silence from it is sooooo… golden.

I laughed at her interpretation. Its not entirely wrong, though, I told her.

But the first thing that came to my mind, however, was a person. Me. A long time ago.

Silent because I was afraid to speak my mind. Afraid to say things that I might regret later. Also because I hated confrontations. Silent to avoid future awkwardness, especially towards people I would see a lot of, but was not very fond of. So rather than go through the awkwardness, I would choose to be silent. Became the doormat, so to speak.

But how is that golden? Whenever I am silent, the other person gets the upper hand, right? They’ll think I am always at fault simply because I don’t defend myself, won’t they?

I think it’s a sign of cowardice.

I have played conversations over and over in my mind thinking I could’ve said this or said that. But there wasn’t much use doing that because the moment to defend myself or someone else or something that I stood for had passed. And I kept thinking, next time, I’ll say what I have to say.

And one day I did.

Knees shaking, voice trembling, almost in tears, I finally spoke up. All the bottled up anger and rage threatened to explode out of me that day and it took all my energy and will-power to focus only on what was at hand. And it was one of the most liberating experiences I’ve ever had.

Although it did take me a little more time to practice voicing out my thoughts and opinions after that, I have never looked back or shied away since. It has made me stronger and bolder. I didn’t need to fear anyone. Didn’t need to make people comfortable at the expense of my dignity and self-respect.

Of course, there are circumstances that warrant silence. But, otherwise, unless I wish to remain in someone’s good books forever, there is absolutely no reason for me to not speak up.

So this is what I explained to my 10 year old.

Silence is golden only if you can quiet your tongue in circumstances that call for it because sometimes, silence speaks when words can’t.

And the quote on the right 🙂

Re-post : A New Website, A Birthday and a Lovely Lacy Shawl

18 Saturday Jul 2015

Posted by Bessie V in Crochet, Life

≈ 7 Comments

Sorry folks 😦

My new website crashed and I was kindly told by the hosting people that its best to “nuke it” (a term they used for deleting the website) and re-build it again. I know that its all part of the learning process but that still didn’t stop me from shedding a lot of tears.

So now that there is no new website to shelter that lone post on it, I have brought it home here – although the second line doesn’t make much sense now 😦

A New Website, A Birthday and a Lovely Lacy Shawl

16 July marks quite a few new things this year for me.

My new website is born today and yes, this is the first post on it.

I have also turned 36 today. Eeks! I am now in my late 30s although I don’t really feel it. No grey hairs. Still young at heart. Still childish and gigglish and impulsive. But I have mellowed down a bit. But just a tiny bit.

My pretty little lady made me a birthday card (a drawing actually). The cheeky little monster had no clue what to make of it all. But he stared in wonder at the card, pointed at every line and squiggle, chirped some baby talk and gasped in surprise. He’s been doing that quite a bit lately. Gasping in Surprise.

And not wanting to be left out, he tried to add his own scribble to it, which was promptly snatched back by the lady (no surprises there), resulting in lots of tears and loud howls of frustration, followed by a lot of yanking and pulling of the card which finally ended with the lady storming off tearfully and the fellow looking surprised and victorious all at the same time, holding up the crumpled card.

All this completely entertaining for me. What a fun start already 😀

Life-events update over, I have just put the finishing round to a new, pretty, over-sized lacy shawl that I have been working on based on a pattern by Annie’s and gifted it to myself :). And I just love it. Its the largest piece I have ever worked on and has turned out exactly like it does in the picture. For someone who hates the cold, I so can’t wait for winter to come knocking!!

To see professional pictures of the shawl, do head on over here :

Shell & Lace Shawl

Oooh! And before I forget, I shall very soon be heading home to India for a much-deserved 1 month vacation! I’m sure I’ll have plenty of fun and interesting things to post when there!

That’s pretty much it for now.

Back soon!

A New Website & A Birthday

16 Thursday Jul 2015

Posted by Bessie V in Life

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Tags

New Blog, New Website

Today is pretty special.

I have turned 36 today!! I guess I am now nearer to 40 like my little lady pointed out to me during a Math lesson of “Rounding Off Numbers to the nearest 10”. As if I needed reminding 😀

But what’s even more special about today is that I just started a new website/blog

http://www.life-and-all-things-nice.com/

I had read a lot of insights from other bloggers on having a hosted website and I thought I’d just go for it, without thinking and planning too much. I’m still not entirely sure if it will be beneficial for me, but I think I’ll learn as I go along. Its in its beginning stages and I think its somehow connected to WordPress too. But I don’t know yet how all of you lovely people can see every time I post something on it. Well, I will just have to figure it out and learn new things.

Do check it out, won’t you?